Everything that you think you have is all in your head because nothing is ever the same from one day to another.  don't ever expect help from enyone because the frankly don't give a shit.  Don't date, to much high school and teenage drama.  i only wonder what is really because right now everything just feels like a huge hole.  empty and without a single way out.

fuck everything and everyone

I will never go to the land of forever cause that land does not exciste.  the dreams and wishes that travel in mind will never peice together.  i wonder when everything will be the way that i dream it to be, but till that day i see in my dreams as the way that they use to be and if it does not happen to me i feel i will cease to excist for something that hurts your heart so bad should never see the surface.

hey guys i have something else that i want to say.

lynda and me have been having some trouble and i don't know how to fix it.  i ask her what was wrong and what i could do to make things work, but she tells me that even she doesn't know.  i love lynda with all my heart and i want to be with her.  some people say that i should just move on and find someone else, but i am to commited to lynda to do so.  besides i don't even pay attention to any other girl.  i don't care if you beleive me or not but i don't check out other girl because i have the most beutiful girl infront of me all the time.  i don't want anyone else and i wish that she would undersand that so that she can stop telling me that i deserve someone better.  if she really want me to find someone else she would have to break my heart and leave with someone else because i am not going to.  i really think that i needed to let this out so that you for reading.

i love you very much lynda and i miss you.

today was kind of ok.  i got to see lynda in the morning and talk to her for a while.  but i just couldn't be happy because one of my brothers in the hospital.  i started my savings account today and have about 2 thousand dollars.  mabye ill buy lynda something nice.  well don't have much to say so ill wright later.

why is everything so confusing.  i guess i thought something but something else happend.  you can't make people change.  when you do something wrong you just have to suck it up and live with it.  i wish that it wouldn't be that way.  its just my fing luck again.  i hate not being lucky.  it really sucks.  well i have to go to sleep so ill wright later